Welcome to the lab. Here's where you can check out all the stuff that George has got in the pipeline and leave comments on stuff you'd like to see or think should be canned.  Currently the only products available for purchase online are apparel. We (or more accurately I) sincerely apologize for this inconvenience to our customers in Bangkok or anywhere else more than an hour or so from Northern Mass looking to purchase StratchCo Mugwort or StratchCo Green Energy Home and Automotive Refurbishments or any of our other fine products, and offer you our equally sincere assurances that provided you're willing to pay shipping, I'm more than willing to work something out with you.

Potential Shirt Descriptions

Straight Pride

This idea was pitched to me by a friend of mine who noted that Gay Pride is everywhere, but those guys out there doing their part to support the continuation of the species really aren't getting their fair share of the garment oriented lovin'

Democracy: Proudly going along with what everyone else thinks since 1775

Show your pride in the American system of government and strike fear into the hearts of all those commies out there by demonstrating your blind willingness to go along with the will of the many.

Republicans: Because my servants like the job security

Campaign for your party of choice. the Republicans understand it, money knows what it wants, if you're rich it's because god wants you to be, and the serfs should be grateful for their literacy and leave it at that.

Democrats: Because the government knows best what to do with my money

Tell the world that you proudly support the Democratic party and all of their policies. Taxes are in place for our protection, because if we were allowed to keep our money, who knows what stupid stuff we might do with it. No, let the world know that you work purely for the satisfaction of keeping the machine running.

Business School: Who needs skills when you can make PowerPoints?

This one really goes out to all my buddies at Babo, and anyone else who has obtained a corporate education. The number one rule: you never have to learn how to do it if you can pay someone else to. What's the point of learning skills? So long as you can present someone else's work better than they can, you're indispensable! Never underestimate the power of complimentary colors and catchy transitions.

Real Athletes Run, the other guys just play with their balls

As a proud, albeit piss poor, Cross Country Runner, I had to make at least one runner pride shirt here. I think I actually came up with this one during practice. And yeah, I'm aware not all other sports use balls, there are pucks, frisbees, and even just grabbing other men in spandex, but that seriously just isn't as catchy.

Black and White Tie Dye

Feeling free spirited, but not adventurous enough for color? Try our black and white tie dye, and show the world that you're open-minded in a grayscale sort of way. Because we know every man's secret dream is to have an ink-blot test on his chest.

Poop is like Love:
when you have enough to drink
sometimes you just have to share it with the world

No explanation really necessary, those who requested this shirt ought to understand it, those that didn't I hope for your sake you don't.

Rebel Ball

Like every good secret society, we need a publicly resaled T-Shirt. I think Andrew tried to put one together a while ago, I don't know what happened there, but seriously, we need jerseys.

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Last modified: 06/09/08